Ten questions you can ask yourself that will help you answer one of the world’s most important questions:
“Am I a douchebag?”
1. Have you ever in your life used the phrase “I’m going to the gym to wail on my pecks”?
2. Do you randomly sit down in public places and play an acoustic guitar?
3. Are you the guy writing on a Mac laptop in the local Starbucks?
Side Note: If you’ve ever brought a guitar into Starbucks, no need to read on… you are a douchebag, period.
4. Have you watched the My new fucking haircut video on youtube and not laughed, but instead ran out and bought all the makings for Jager-bombs?
5. Do you drive a mustang… but you call it a “‘stang”?
6. Do you refuse to go out without your favorite visor on?
Side Note: if you wear the visor upside down, don‘t bother reading on. Walk away from your computer, find the nearest window and jump out of it.
7. Are you now wearing, or have you ever worn more than one polo shirt at a time?
8. Was one or more of said polo shirts worn with a popped collar… on purpose? (Only French people can pull this off without being considered douchebags)
9. Are you now, or at anytime have you ever been French? (Gotcha, popped collars are never cool, neither is being French).
10. Have you, at anytime during the reading of this list, tried to convince yourself that the author doesn’t know what he’s talking about? (You’re most likely French)
Side note: I don’t know why we insist on tooling on the French. I think maybe it’s revenge for all the times Pepe LePew tried to rape that cat during our saturday morning cartoons.